You Know You’re an Author When…

Oh, yeah...this is good. I'm awesome! Gonna make sooo much money!!
Oh, yeah…this is good. I’m awesome! Gonna make sooo much money!!
  1. You check hourly on how your book is doing since launching it a week ago on Amazon.
  2. You swear and throw things when you realize the manuscript file you loaded was the “test” one and not the final proofread copy.
  3. You obsessively scan the “right” book before hitting upload, terrified you may have missed something, or are accidentally uploading your mom’s favourite chocolate chip cookie recipe instead (hey, there’s a good blog post topic…actually, you think you have chocolate chips in the cupboard. You have time to whip up a batch!)
  4. You mix the cookie dough, then realize there are no chocolate chips (you ate them while checking on how your book was doing yesterday.)
  5. You eat the dough raw — because!
  6. You wonder how you ever got a book written in the first place.
  7. You congratulate yourself on actually writing a book, and forgive yourself for the upload error, ‘cos who’s actually gonna buy it and read it anyway?
  8. You spend the rest of the day looking up symptoms of food poisoning from raw cookie batter and promise yourself to fix the upload issue tomorrow.

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