Tag Archives: summer

Why I HATE Root Beer!

So, you read my post about why I hate summer. Summer ain’t got nuthin’ on root beer — that pernicious saccharine bile from hell!

On a sweltering hot summer day in August, as the Abbotsford International Airshow drones overhead, and the lawn mowers sit silent — the owners huddled in the shade with a lemonade — there is nothing quite like an ice-cold shower of root beer.

Let me describe the steps necessary for this refreshing pastime.

  1. Reach into the refrigerator for a cold can of root beer.
  2. Fumble said can which somehow manages to hit three sharp corners before it hits the floor.
  3. Scream hysterically as a fine geyser of syrupy root beer hits you in the head, concentrating on your left ear canal before hitting the pristine white ceiling and EVERY EFFING SURFACE WITHIN A TEN FOOT VICINITY!
  4. Spend a few moments in shock, then try to assess the damage through your tears (or could be the root beer dripping from your hair).
  5. Notice how your yoga pants fit more snugly with a coating of pop. Notice how your hair has a little more curl after adding a spray of sugar. Notice how the brown spots on all your cabinets accent the brushed nickel hardware.
  6. Laugh maniacally when your kids come running, only to point and giggle, then refuse to help clean up. “Hey, Mom, it’s your mess!”

Now, PLEASE tell me someone else out there has spent an afternoon scrubbing their entire kitchen down after an exploded can incident. It can’t be just me and my sister. Hers was worse…an entire keg of homemade root beer…at Christmas…after setting the table…and just before the in-laws arrived. I think they donated the tree, and told the Salvation Army that the tree was a new invention — Shellacked tree with ornaments and lights.

After I spent a couple of hours cleaning up, I looked forward to a refreshing shower to wash off the stickiness. I hobbled to the bathroom (plantar fasciitis, remember?), and leaned over the tub to turn on the water, knocking a large can of shaving gel off the corner of the tub and onto my foot. Yes, I swore. Perhaps winter will be kinder to me. At least there would be none of this leg-shaving, sandal-wearing, pop-drinking nonsense to contend with.

TIP: If you suffer from plantar fasciitis, follow these tips and your heel will thank you:

  • Rest your sore foot on your knee and pull back on your big toe, stretching the tendons through the foot and relieving pressure on the heel
  • Place ice on the sore heel for 20 minutes
  • Wear socks and your best arch-support runners in the house at all times
  • Raise up the foot on a cushion when watching TV
  • Stretch your calf muscles at night and in the morning

Yeah, I know…this post rambles on about all sorts of disjointed crap…blame the heat…I HATE summer!

Why I HATE Summer

Wait, have I posted about this before? Possibly. ‘Cause I sometimes feel so strongly about how much I hate summer, that I just have to vent. Or, perhaps it’s that summer hates me — either way…this is why…

  • I burn, then it fades back to white
  • Ice cream hurts my tummy
  • I hate to sweat
  • My feet hurt
  • Planes are loud

After this month’s events unfolded, I have a renewed hatred of the blasted month of August.

I spent lots of time weeding, mowing and pruning my garden, only to burn so I couldn’t sit out and enjoy the results.

Then, I developed plantar faschitis. I had to Google my symptoms. The articles might as well have said, “You wore sandals, didn’t you? Then you walked for miles in the heat, ignoring those little twinges. Serves you right for ignoring your arches!” Now I hate Google — so self-righteous!

But, then, on the other hand, Google DID help me connect with a wonderful writer who shared her post on “How to choose running shoes for Plantar Fasciitis” — so…WIN!

Really, though, you DO need to treasure those tootsies. Take care of your feet, because they have to carry you through the rest of your life… even if it means putting up with miserably hot summers.

Next, the Abbotsford International Airshow flew into town. It has been loud planes practicing all week overhead, and this weekend the traffic is busy…and it’s HOT! I do enjoy watching the planes, but I have seen so many almost accidents with distracted drivers slowing to view the planes overhead. And they are LOUD! So, I hate the Abbotsford Airshow too…okay, I admit that’s probably because I’ve never actually attended a show.

This weekend is a stinker; so, I tried to cool off with a refreshing drink, and ended up scrubbing down my entire kitchen. That’s a whole ‘nother story.

So, yes, right now I’m hating summer, but the year ain’t over. Come winter, I will be sharing how much I hate slipping on the ice, burning my mouth on hot chocolate, and fighting crowds in the mall.

TIP: If you suffer from plantar fasciitis, I feel for you, but there MAY be relief in sight and an end to your suffering if you follow these tips — your heels will thank you:

  • Rest your sore foot on your knee and pull back on your big toe, stretching the tendons through the foot and relieving pressure on the heel
  • Place ice on the sore heel for 20 minutes
  • Wear socks and your best arch-support runners in the house at all times
  • Raise up the foot on a cushion when watching TV
  • Stretch your calf muscles at night and in the morning

UPDATE: after wearing supportive footwear (outside AND inside), doing my stretching exercises, and getting back to walking as soon as possible, I am practically cured. Heels get sore once in a while, but that’s because I wore high heels or walked barefoot too much.

Summer Photo Horrors…Wait…That’s Me!

Exposed By My Children for What I Really Look Like (excerpt from Bridgetteblog.com)

“Flipping through the pictures on my phone, I see it.blogpic
My first reaction is shock. Who took this hideous picture of me?

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit delete, my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful laying there. I couldn’t help it mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But mom, seriously, look how pretty you look?”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.”
To read the rest of the post by bridgette tales Click Here: http://bit.ly/1qI7Kqt

I confess I HATE to be in pics, and avoid it at all costs!

It is true that we emerge blinking into the sunlight after a long winter hibernation with our pearly white thighs and our winter pudge, taking photos willy-nilly, expecting to look as tanned, slim and perfectly put together as the women and men on the covers of the magazines and in the ads on TV. Our delusions are shattered when we get home from the summer outings and view the ream of pics we shot over the course of the day. Red, sweaty faces; wrinkled shirts with pit stains; sunburned bodies which have no business being in a swimsuit; scars, stretch-marks, freckles, wrinkles, cellulite; frazzled hair scraped into a top knot and…and “Delete, delete, delete!”

After reading Bridgette’s post, I shall endeavor to look beyond the pasty, chubby momma and remember the glorious day in the sun with friends and family. “Save, save, save!” because I don’t want to miss a moment and I don’t want anyone to forget that I was a part of it also.

I shall try to remember that the way I view myself is not what I want my kids to remember about me. And I shall try to see myself through the eyes of others, who are way less judgmental. Get over yourself, Cate, and get out there and enjoy the summer!

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Sorry, no bathing suit photos of me…yet!